Thursday, November 10, 2011

On Veteran's Day: A Memory Of Vietnam

A great story from my hometown paper, the Toledo Blade


Why  is this significant to me?


As a 2 year old in Toledo, Ohio, my earliest memory is being held by my father at a place where everyone was crying.  I learned later that it was the funeral of Vito Bruno.  Vito was the son of our next door neighbors, Mr. and Mr's Bruno. With Veteran's Day on my thoughts, I decided to search the internet and found this story from 2009 in the Toledo Blade.  It brought tears to my eyes.  

We must never forget.








A silver seashell magnet secures a yellow note card to the side of Mary Worden's refrigerator.

Years ago she scrawled on the card detailed directions to the grave site of a young soldier who died Dec. 11, 1966, in Vietnam.

His name is Vito Vincent Bruno.

Today, as the United States of America, land of the free and home of the brave, observes Memorial Day, flags will fly in Calvary Cemetery in Toledo, the final resting place for Mr. Bruno and scores of other service members who made the ultimate sacrifice.

The flag on Mr. Bruno's grave was posted this holiday, as in years past, because Mrs. Worden of Toledo cares deeply and passionately about her country and its veterans.

A chance meeting with Mr. Bruno's mother more than a decade ago in the cemetery prompted Mrs. Worden to make a promise: Never, ever would Mr. Bruno's grave go undecorated on Memorial Day.

"I was taking a flag to my mother and father's grave in Calvary, and an elderly woman told me her son was killed in Vietnam and he had no flag on his grave. She wondered where I got my flag," Mrs. Worden, 70, recalled. The two mothers talked briefly.

"Then I turned to walk away, and I knew my mother would want the woman to have the flag. I turned back, and said, 'Here, take this flag.' After she put the flag on her son's grave and left, I walked down and looked at her son's grave. He was only in his 20s. He was killed in Vietnam. Every year since, I give him a flag."

And attached to the flag, always, always, a hand-written note: "We will never forget you."

Every year, she and her husband, William, took not only a flag but also garden shears to Mr. Bruno's grave.

"We'd sweep off the dirt and we'd trim the grass around the flat marker," said Mr. Worden, 74. "We would do that as a remembrance to him. When we saw that his mother had died, we started to do the same for her."

Mrs. Worden, who has devoted her life to helping others, has been faithful to her promise, to her vow to never forget Vito Bruno. It was an anonymous gesture of respect and honor.

A few days ago, however, she reached out, seeking help to continue the tradition this Memorial Day and Memorial Days to come.

Her life has reached a turning point. "You always think you can keep your promise, but when you cannot " Her words trail off as tears trickle down her cheek.

Mrs. Worden, who never learned to drive, stays close to home these days, by the side of her husband, who is in hospice care there. On May 9 they celebrated their 50th anniversary (they call each other "Honey").



"Mary gets her caring way from her mother. Her mother lived on Prouty and the bums back then knew where they could get a meal. The bums would come and sit on her porch and she would fix them an egg or a sandwich of something," Mr. Worden said.

When Mrs. Worden realized she couldn't get to the cemetery this year, she said, "I was so upset and was kind of crying and I was telling about the flag."

Listening was Nathalie Wilson of Toledo who provides hospice care to Mr. Worden. She offered to deliver the flag and Mrs. Worden's handwritten note.

For years, Mrs. Worden took under her wing dozens of military personnel who served in Iraq and Afghanistan. She wrote them letters and sent care packages. "I started out when Ann Landers said to write to any serviceman. That was in 1990," she recalled.

A scrapbook bulges with photographs of soldiers touched by Mrs. Worden. One of her military pen pals was John Tellez of Missouri, who calls her each Mother's Day.

After Staff Sgt. Matt Maupin of Batavia, Ohio, was captured near Baghdad in 2004, Mrs. Worden passed out color copies of his photograph - embossed with "Love Never Loses Its Way Home" - to her friends, asking for their prayers for the Maupin family.

The sergeant's remains were found last year, and thousands of people participated in his memorial. Mrs. Worden's son Dave, who lived in Batavia, rode his motorcycle as an honor guard during the memorial procession.

Mrs. Worden also wrote to Brian Wagoner, a 1994 Maumee High School graduate. He was killed by a roadside bomb in Iraq in 2005. She went to his memorial service. She wrapped letters she received from Brian in black ribbon and presented them to his father, she said.

"It is our duty to remember veterans and make sure they are recognized for what they do for our country," Mrs. Worden said. "My belief is honor above all."

Dedicated volunteers throughout Lucas County place flags on thousands of veterans' graves just ahead of Memorial Day each year, but sometimes some get missed. Cemetery lists are incomplete, said John Hunt of Toledo. As he and his wife Margaret crisscross sections of Calvary Cemetery, they update their lists of deceased veterans.

Volunteers do their best, but records need updating, and that takes time and people, Mrs. Hunt said. The Hunts placed hundreds of flags on veterans' graves in sections of the cemetery near where Mr. Bruno is buried.

Dominic M. Bruno of Sylvania, who said he was unaware of Mrs. Worden's annual trek to Vito's grave, recalled his cousin as a "very gentle person" who went to war after being drafted. Vito Bruno was a conscientious objector, a true one, but did not declare himself as a conscientious objector, his cousin said. "I think he felt it was his duty even though he wouldn't carry a gun."

Vito, who was an Army medic, and other Central Catholic High School graduates who died in World War II, Korea, and Vietnam are honored on a memorial plaque on display in the school's first-floor hallway.

Names of those killed in Korea were added only recently to the plaque, which was donated by the Class of 1947, and a rededication ceremony will be held, according to Mary McCarty Pierce of Toledo.

A 1965 Central graduate, she said that this summer she would like to have the plaque reorganized, listed by war and in alphabetical order. She'd like to have the plaque polished and a light installed over it.

Mrs. Worden, who also is a Central Catholic graduate, last week contacted the school, asking if students would keep alive the promise to never forget Vito Bruno.

She's awaiting a reply.

Often, she thinks about the fallen soldier and his family.

"I never saw his mother again," said Mrs. Worden.

"And I do not know how many years later we saw the mother had died and I said, 'I think she died of a broken heart.'•"

Contact Janet Romaker at: jromaker@theblade.com or 419-724-6006.

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