 clipped from www.dispatch.com
I will love and cherish you in prosperity and in hardship, In health and in sickness, in joy and in sorrow, Until we are parted by death.
The couple wore suits and exchanged rings, surrounded by family and friends. They received Holy Communion together and sang hymns. Before the sign of peace, they shared a quick kiss.
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But a wedding it was not, both legally and by the couple's definition.
MacPherson and Harbin's relationship was the first same-sex union blessed by the Episcopal Diocese of Southern Ohio since Bishop Thomas E. Breidenthal lifted the ban on such ceremonies a week ago.
The men, who live in German Village and started dating in 1975, cannot be legally married in Ohio. And the Episcopal Church does not marry same-sex couples.
MacPherson, 59, and Harbin, 56, would like the civil benefit of marriage someday, they said. But yesterday, they sought their church's blessing, that their relationship is holy and of God.
Theirs has been a "covenant relationship" - unbreakable - since 1979, in their estimation. But they never had a ceremony with loved ones to mark the relationship. They wanted to do that with a congregation that made them feel welcome when they weren't sure church could be a haven for gay people. St. Stephen's, on Ohio State University's campus, was.
"Both of us are just feeling so blessed," MacPherson said, taking Harbin's hand after the ceremony. "We thought this day would happen eventually, but I was beginning to wonder as I near 60 ..."
Breidenthal has long supported the blessing of same-sex unions but didn't want to force them on the diocese. After the national church's General Convention passed a resolution in July allowing bishops latitude on the subject, he thought it was time.
The requirements for a same-sex blessing are more restrictive than for a marriage. Breidenthal's approval is needed for each one, as is the case when couples pursue a second marriage.
"It's not about lowering the moral bar," Breidenthal said. "It's about keeping it high and inviting same-gender couples into the same accountability and support we offer married people."
MacPherson and Harbin didn't see the event as a wedding, because that implies a beginning, they said.
They met when MacPherson was 24 and Harbin was 21. Both are registered nurses. MacPherson works at Doctors Hospital with cardiac patients, and Harbin works as a technology consultant for OhioHealth.
They consoled each other through the deaths of Harbin's father and MacPherson's mother. Their surviving parents were at St. Stephen's yesterday.
The men share a love of traveling, evidenced by a marked-up map of the United States in their home. Black lines note the routes they've taken together.
They also are passionate about music, having first bonded over the folk rock of the 1970s. MacPherson is a member of the Columbus Gay Men's Chorus, whose sacred-music ensemble Illuminati sang several songs at the ceremony.
A friend read an excerpt from Walt Whitman's Song of the Open Road poem from Leaves of Grass.
Will you give me yourself? Will you come travel with me?
Shall we stick by each other as long as we live?
mheagney@dispatch.com
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